You Get What Everyone Else Gets. You Get A Lifetime.

I'm in another one of my angsty moods again. I think I have too much anger for one person. Proof is my dreams. Last night I beat the shit out of him. In the dream he was trying to set me off and he did. I lost my composure and practically killed him. It was weird because there were other people there too, but they didn't understand why I hated him. They were asking what he ever did to me. They didn't know... They didn't know what he did Fall semester. They didn't know how he was making my life Hell. They didn't know how he was two-faced to a guy he didn't even know. They didn't know that he was a manipulative bastard. They didn't know that he impressed his "Christian" dogma on everyone and everything. It's people like him that make others hate the faith.

I'm sure Danielle would be upset if she knew how much I hated him... She kind of already does, but yeah... I wonder if this is how she views Emily...? It's complicated and I don't want to try and imagine that. I try too hard to see everyone else's perspective as it is. Do I do that to be fair or do I do that because I'm paranoid?

Came out to Brian this weekend. He was surprised. Honestly, he might've been too drunk to remember. But he seemed to have taken it well. He made a point that the three Villanueva kids have never really been close. I maintain that we are just an emotionally detached family. And I believe that it is true.

Danielle told me what he mother had been saying and Emily chewed me out about drinking. Seemed like good enough reasons to get plastered. Went to Thomas and Christin's party. Had fun. Had a huge hangover the next morning.

After the hangover I went with Jon to Arby's and Books-A-Million. Picked up Watchmen and the fifth Vampire Knight (for Danielle). Not too long after coming back to the dorm Derek and Anne asked if I wanted to go to the fair. We did. I think it was sponsored by churches or something. We had a fun conversation with a guy on "Dinosaurs and Humans". He gave a lot of bullshit science. We kept correcting him on a lot of it until finally we just decided to shut up and let him give us his spiel so we could leave. When we walked away we pointed out all of his inaccuracies.
Didn't have much money so I only played one game. Shooting. Won on my first shot and got a stuffed fox for Danielle. I kept finding myself missing her... Thoughts like, "She would love this" or "I know what she would say" just keep replaying in the back of my head.

Tonight she is going to go with me to drop off Kenta at Emily's party. Heh, she's bringing homework to work on and I need to study anyway. Ergh, I don't even want to think about the quiz on Friday...