Shattered

What is trust exactly? Is it giving another person the power to manipulate you and your emotions and hoping that they won't? Why would anyone give another person such capabilities?

Never again.

My expectations for others have been drastically lowered this past year. And to be honest, it hurts a hell of a lot less when you anticipate disappointment.

My childish naivety and trust in the good intentions of others have finally met the harsh reality that most people are relentlessly selfish. This past weekend has only further fortified this assessment. Two accounts, actually. I feel like I am only being told what I want to hear. And... it really hurts. It hurts knowing that these people would never tell me complete truths. It hurts knowing that I used to take everyone's words as "truth". My innocence has been shattered. The blindfold is lifted. People who I once thought were great have turned out to be self-interested ingrates. Victims of circumstance? Maybe... maybe not... Series of bad decisions led them there, but outside forces always contribute.

Granted, I will only grow colder from here... I know that every once in awhile a genuine person is there. I'd like to consider myself one of those few who actually put others first. Maybe I am mistaken... Maybe I'm just like the people I despise. Either way selflessness these days is very underrated...