Plastered

Damn you, Quantitative Chemical Analysis, damn you. Ugh... I really don't know what I am going to have in that class. Hell, I'm not so sure I'm even going to pass after that exam. Needless to say I came out of that room devastated. I had studied a full week before the exam to make sure I knew it... shows what good it did me. I'm fucked, I know I am. So, that being said, I promptly had a bit of a breakdown in my room with Danielle and Jon in my presence. To which I demanded hard liquor and expressed my desire to cut my hair because my parents are going to be pissed at me anyway.

They weren't too keen on the immediate haircutting and said that I should at least wait until I had thought about it a few more days. The alcohol, however, was very feasible. Marcy said that he had just opened a bottle of Jose Cuervo tequila and I opted to pay him for the rest. Sadly, it was half empty (yes, I realize I am a pessimist). So, I sat in Danielle's room and drank while watching Silent Hill (I never seem to get sick of that movie). During which, I would routinely ask for a piece of paper and a pen to see how bad my handwriting got through the night. I wrote a total of four times... And the results are amusing... I will have to scan that piece of paper one day... Anyway, half of a liter later, I finished the bottle. Long story short, I ended up throwing up my guts. It's kinda weird because I remember a lot of that night. Some specifics are blurred, but I still recall everything that transpired. Danielle took care of me, Jon cleaned up, Andrew was there (heh, flipped him off six times when he started talking about BAC), and Christin was there in case I needed help changing. It's funny because even then when I was plastered, I still appreciated that I had people there for me... More surprisingly people that were willing to help me when I was like that. I don't think I can really explain it... But it meant a lot... And it still does.

Fast-forward past the hangover and to Friday. Drew came over and I got my hair cut. It was a bit of a compromise. It wasn't a "guy cut" per say, but it was short and I guess I could just try to get used to it. Once again, I had people there with me: Jon, Danielle, Drew, Christin, and Marcy. Ha, the people at the salon had no idea what was going on with so many people.

Saturday I woke up early to go fishing with Derek since the duck pond was open for one day of fishing. We talked a bit while he was fishing and I was taking pictures. Came back, took a nap, went to Angel's with Andrew and got in some studying. Came back, watched him fish while I took pics again, went to Mikawa with Jon. After Mikawa, the three of us visited the Space and Rocket Center to see the last fireworks. It was for some company party, but we didn't care. After the fireworks, we came watched Seven Samurai which was great.

Just in reflection of those three individual days alone I realize how much my friends mean to me and how much I have changed from last year. Last year at this time I wanted to kill myself, but now... Even if things aren't exactly going the way I want, I can still look back and see that there are some great people worth sticking around for if nothing else.