Praying that it will be an improvement from last year.
Talked to her. I miss talking to her, actually. That is, when she isn't on the topic of religion. Her views have changed, I suppose. On the first day of the New Year we had our little disagreement... Condemnation. Used to it, by now... It just hurts most of all coming from her. I still love her. I will ALWAYS love her. I didn't choose this. I didn't choose to be born this way.
I wish someone would just tell me that it's okay to be myself.
It would be so much easier to live with myself if I didn't believe. But I do... And I'm not quite sure how God judges.
Went to The Shrine of the Most Blessed Sacrament. My parents bought me a pendant of my patron saint: Saint Jude-The Saint of Hopelessness/Lost Causes. I thought considering my situation that he was fitting.
4 comments:
Hey...
It's okay to be yourself.
Just so ya know...
i think it's okay for you to be yourself, too...
when i first learned, though, i admit that i really struggled with myself. i questioned absolutely everything i believed in. i couldnt bear the idea that one of THE most bestest people ever (i'm not kidding, i always have and continue still to think VERY highly of you!!!) could be condemned. it didnt seem right... it doesnt seem right at all. and sure, there are loop holes to consider, 'who exactly wrote it down in the Bible, was that really God's Will or a random insert of prejudice, and if angels have no gender, why should that matter anyway?'
it seems that gender is only for reproduction purposes, so why should love be hindered by that? and then once we die, 'we have no gender,' so again why should it matter? i dont know...
but i still love you and i love you for who you are. you really are one of the greatest people i've ever met and one of the best things that has ever happened to me is meeting and sharing a friendship with you.
and Saint Jude does seem like an appropriate patron saint for you
*hug*
hope you enjoy this new year, and that it has better things to come
oh yea one more thing! have you ever watched Chrono Crusade? it's not that long of a series, so i suggest you check it out when ya get the chance. it had an interesting point (more specifically about the demon named chrono)
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