Fisherman's Horizon

Came home a little after midnight last night from a day of fishing in Fort Payne. Even though it was really windy and the water was choppy from the waves, I really enjoyed myself. Met Andrew's student, Adam. Andrew, Derek, Joey, Nick, Adam, and myself spent the entire day fishing. Not much was caught. Andrew was the only one of us to catch a crappie.

When I finally came back home Mom told me that my grandmother was sick and dehydrating. She got admitted to the hospital today... I lost my other grandmother last year during this month, but she had been sick. This... was just all of a sudden. I hope it's nothing serious...

This week is also Holy Week. Maunday Thursday, Good Friday, Easter Vigil... I still need to go to confession before Saturday night...

Of Rockstars and Rosaries

First off, it's about bloody time for Spring Break to start. I HATE Spring semester's endlessness.

So let's see, I had to finally drop Cal B. It took up too much time and I was not getting anywhere with it. I think my other classes could use some more time since I had been neglecting them for Cal B time.

I did some hardcore uber studying last night with my organic. It consisted of a God list of reactions I created, old exams, a 16 oz Rockstar, and a 24 ZOMG-sized Rockstar that resembled the diethyl ether canisters we use in Organic lab. Felt alright about the exam, but we'll see.

Chemistry Club is OFFICIALLY SGA approved and rechartered so rock on, guys. The bake sale went well and we should probably work on getting shirts ordered soon.

Picked my Catholic name that will be used next week. The point of choosing a confirmation name is to pay homage to that saint and well... here (Wikipedia ftw): "...It is customary for a person being confirmed in the Roman Catholic Church (and some Anglican dioceses) to adopt the name of a saint with whom he/she feels a special affinity, thus securing an additional patron saint to be his/her protector and guide. "

Sadly since I am female I could not use Saint Jude, so I chose Saint Alice (Alix). I think I am just as familiar with humility and suffering as she was; and through it all, still knowing that God is there.

Easter Vigil is next week and I still need to go to Confession before I go. THAT will be a fun conversation... So meh, well it's 6:06 and I need to get to bed.

P.S. I went on another drive today since the weather was nice. Visited Monte Sano and Maple Hill.

Mad World

Well, Midterms came and went already. Looks like I may have to drop Cal B if I didn't so well on this exam. I feel like I am constantly busy. Organic exam next week. Spring Break is too far away. Dad's birthday was the 4th, Jen's is the 16th. My grandmother's one year is the 10th and Mr. G's is the 14th. Paramore concert is the 28th.

Today SGA went to the capitol for Higher Education Day. Fourteen percent tuition increase and faculty cuts? No thank you. Property tax, not income tax. Alabama has an INSANELY low property tax and that is probably why some of our funding suffers. Ugh, I did not want to go into politics in this blog, but whatever.

All systems go on Costa Rica. Passport arrived last week.

Bought a To Write Love on Her Arms shirt. Meh, I liked the one that had Paramore's 'We Are Broken' on the inside. That organization is for a good cause, it helps depression patients.

Mr. Adrian bought me my Arrrgyle shirt from woot! shirts. THANK YOU, ANDREW! The shirt is pirate-y goodness.

Addressed a few things that were bothering me. Talking things out and telling other people how I feel is never easy for me, but I need to get into the habit of it.

"I think all of our Moms would kill us."

I have come to the conclusion that in order to properly live one's life that random shit must be done every so often to ensure that one is still alive.

Last night was just that.

After a night of studying and Steak-n-Shake after kidnapping Jon, we (Jon, Danielle, and myself) went driving. We went to Monte Sano at 2 a.m. and parked on a curb overlooking the city. Everything looked inferior from where we stood. Danielle had already switched into her pajamas before we left, so I gave her my shoes and took off my socks and jacket. The rain was pouring. But, that view... for the three of us... It was worth it.

After Monte Sano we visited Maple Hill where I do my almsgiving for Lent. It looked so much different at night. We came back around 3:45 or so. It was glorious.

Seize The Day

Good news and bad news. Good news: the Chemistry Club is coming back full force and I love all of the other officers. Bad news: midterms are coming up and I need to work my ass off for them. Then again though, last year I was more worried about midterms than I was finals. We'll see how things turn out.

Played around with the video that I was making for '07 fall semester/ '08 spring semester. It bothered me how there was no video for the fall semester bit, so I made it just spring semester. I know I will cut it up before the semester is finished, but this is what it looks like right now. Enjoy.

021408

The concert on the 2nd was great. I had fun and it was nice for everyone to be together. Since then I've been just trying to survive classes, myself, and the ever present problems that encompass the lives of college students.

Still waiting on Dr. Johnson to email me about the lab. I should probably check to see if he has the right email for me. I'd hate to be waiting and he's already started.

Costa Rica is a sure thing too. Sent off for my passport on Monday. I'll check the status of it in a couple of days. Credit hours and being able to be on the beach/rainforest with Nick and Andrew. Sounds like fun to me.

Ugh, I've been in a terribly poetic mood lately. Disgusting really, expecially since that isn't my forte. Thought I'd put it on here to just get it out of my system. The verses have been running through my head. The more I think about the lines the more I think it sounds like some retarded emo poem, but I couldn't find any other way to express the thoughts. And no, this isn't about her. (I'm not David.) But I;d be lying if I said she didn't influence it, because she did. Anyway, whatever.

____

Bitter breezes sent the fallen leaves asunder ripping the concrete as they passed,
Their bodies: breaking, rather screaming in agony with each pass.
The barren trees did too seem to shake from the frigid air.
Heavy, frozen, and tired I gazed upon the tranquil site.
Our sanctuary, our home, our secret place,
Images flooded my mind and smiles haunted me as I took in the night air,
Slowly, deliberately I trace my thumb against your image and allow time to take me back.
We had waltzed in the snow and kissed under the stars exchanging vows of endless love.
Childish naivety.
Locked and swaying feel my body’s urge to collide with the black water.
To fade, to embrace, oh the promises the lake could fulfill.
Again the wind sweeps the beauty of yesterday across the murky terrain,
This time, however, the air pulls me with it,
Something warm, something foreign, yet all too familiar streams,
And upon examination I noticed the droplets were neither from sweat nor blood,
But rather they were the most painful of sacrifice trinity: tears.
I curse the vacant sky.
Who are you to say that there are no demons that burn for absolution, nor angels who deceive?





Happy Valentine's Day...

Long Time Since I've Seen You Smile

Well, school is clearly back in session since I haven't posted a new blog in about a month. Classes are going well, I suppose. I need to spend more time with my Cal B though, since I have been pushing it aside for everything else.

On a more personal level, I suppose I am doing a better job maintaining my composure in general. Still the regular dreams of her coming back. I try to ignore them now. Keeping myself busy is effective in avoiding those thoughts. Had a new one the night of the 22nd. I felt myself fall from some high scaffold and then shatter. My counselor said that it could have symbolised a time when I felt like I had fallen from a high position. I honestly don't know how important/relevant dreams are. And I hate how cliche this sounds, but I guess my 'soul' was leaving the body and I was being pulled up by some force. The death itself didn't frighten me. All I remember saying was that, 'I need more time...'

Dying without being able to help people is probably the most troubling thought I have. I got my research lab and to be honest, I will probably stay with it until I graduate. I promised I would dedicate my life to this project, and I will.

Ugh, emotional spiel aside, I have been trying to balance the rest of my life out as well as possible. Went to Fort Payne with Andrew and Nick two weeks ago...? Met Andrew's father and then Nick's mother made us dinner. Gym last night with Danielle. Lunch with Stephanie today. Dinner and movie with Van tonight. Lunch, possibly, with Leigh tomorrow. Attempting to spend time with friends when possible, going to the gym twice a week, R.C.I.A. every Wednesday and Mass every Sunday. Feels like a high-wire act sometimes, but it makes the days worth getting through.